An Accomplished Lady

So for some reason today I was thinking about Jane Austen. Probably because I often worry about being a proper steward of my time and day and life, and without a job right now, my life is far less pressed than when I do have a job (and a husband around), and definitely far less pressed than those of you fabulous moms out there. Without sitting down and writing out a priorities list each day, time can pass rather quickly without accomplishing much of anything. So, today I sat down, decided what I want to get done, make a list, and then prioritize them, and then am working on doing them in the order I listed. I can't tell you how good it feels to actually accomplish things!

So, back to Jane. In Pride & Prejudice, they talk about being a truly accomplished lady. In those times "accomplished" means that they are educated (which doesn't mean that they went to school, rather, their mothers have to take the time to give them an education), and they have to take time to cultivate skills. Now we would think, ok, to learn to cook, manage a household, ect. But not with the higher classes. They had servants to take care of their needs. The skills young ladies needed to acquire to be considered truly accomplished were what we would today consider more "recreational" skills or hobbies. To directly quote from the book;


'No one can really esteemed accomplished, who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing and the modern languages to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.' 


'All this she must possess,' added Darcy, 'and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.' 

While I do try to read daily, I do not consider sitting down and reading to be a daily "accomplishment". Reading definitely falls under the category of "R&R". The accomplishments of the modern woman (drawing from my last blog, about being gloriously domestic), in my mind at least, would include actual accomplishments, as-in getting stuff DONE. For me, this means keeping the reins of my home in check: paying bills, mowing and weeding the lawn, tending my garden, doing laundry, menu planning, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, working out, job hunting or working (as work presents itself), bathing and feeding the dog, cultivating relationships and serving those around me.

If I am feeling especially motivated, I might bake or quilt or something like that. I recently had my sister-in-law over and while she sat in the kitchen and talked to me, I busied myself by making dinner, doing dishes, and making some freeze-able tomato sauce for my grilled pizzas (in the summertime) and refrigerator pickles, both from produce harvested from my little garden outside. I was surprised and flattered when my sister-in-law laughed and then commented on what a "domestic goddess" I was being, as I busied myself making sauce and pickles from produce that I had harvested and needed to use up anyway (or it would spoil), while we were catching up.

Her comment surprised me because I spent my childhood on 7 acres, complete with large vegetable garden, fruit orchards and cattle pasture. It was typical, if not routine to make our own jam, raise and butcher our own beef, can our own vegetables and fruit, and make apple juice and sauce every fall. Sure, we still shopped at Safeway, like everyone else, but we also (somewhat) lived off the land, and that became a regular way of life. As an adult with my own home, I only live on a quarter acre, and instead of a large, 1/2 acre garden, I only have a 130 square foot garden, with limited space to grow what I wish I had room to. This fall I am enjoying my own lettuce, spinach, carrots, green beans, tomatoes and a few strawberries, as well as fresh herbs. Had I more room, I would like to be able to grow more tomatoes, squash, corn, blueberries and raspberries. Growing and enjoying my own produce is just a way of life for me. It's totally natural and I think I take for granted that some, if not most women do not even garden at all, and some do not hardly even cook.

For dinner, we enjoyed a baked acorn squash and grilled chicken and fruit (mango, avocado, strawberry) salad, with blue cheese and walnuts. It was a simple and delicious (not to mention relatively healthy) dinner, but her comment again reminded me that not all families take the time to cook for themselves and enjoy simple but delicious dinners. Lately I have also enjoyed some extra time off while I look for a new job, and I use some of that time to work out. In short, from one simple comment I realized that some modern women would look up to me as a "truly accomplished woman". I have been called a domestic goddess and also a Martha Stuart wannabe. It is strange that in Jane Austen's day, the wealthy, idle women were considered the accomplished ones, and the ones doing the work (cooking, cleaning) were the hired servants, to be looked down upon.

What a joy and a comfort to know that despite the days  I do not feel I am accomplishing much, to others I am respected as a truly accomplished lady :))