Hey friends, thanks for dropping in! I woke up this morning and thought, Saturday, what should I do today?? Well amidst a slew of other options, I decided to spend it relaxing, and cooking. With my new diet/exercise regimen, I woke up feeling sore from head to toe, so I felt that spending most of the day either relaxing on the couch, watching movies or cooking up a storm would be the most valuable use of my time.Truth be told, I had about 6lbs of ground turkey to use up, so I figured, I'll just cook today, and then I won't have to cook for most of the rest of the week. Lately, a good chunk of my weekdays are spent working out and then running errands, so by dinnertime, I feel pretty drained and not in any kind of mood to make myself anything for dinner.I just open the fridge and grab whatever looks easy and edible.
I honestly love to cook, so it's strange to be in a place in life where I don't love it. I feel that way more often than I like to admit. Mainly, the reason is being on my own. Jason is gone so much that I have so many more reasons to dread his leaving than just missing him and sleeping alone. I know that all sounds strange, but when you have someone to cook for, it makes it all worth it. If it's just yourself it is just as easy, if not MORE easy to just grab some grape-nuts or something.
I'm a lot like Juila Child, in that I love my husband and I love to cook, and a lot like Julie Powell in that I am young, don't have kids and a lot of the time, I have NO CLUE what I'm doing. I want my life to matter, but in our society, we are constantly being bombarded with messages saying that, as a woman, if you aren't thin, pretty and have a successful career then you aren't worth anything, or you aren't living up to your potential. Speaking of Julie & Julia, lets talk about one my favorite movies. Julie & Julia, an absolutely brilliant movie, that is super fun to watch and leaves you hungry and wishing you were more interested in cooking. I even feel that way, me, who loves to cook.
Julie Powell says a line, early on in the movie that illustrates how she feels about cooking. "You know what I love about cooking, I love that after a day when nothing is sure, and I mean nothing, you can come home and absolutely know that if you add egg yolks to chocolate and sugar and milk, it will get thick. It's such a comfort."
I feel similarly about cooking. My quote would be, "You know what I love about cooking, I love that after a day when you don't know if what you've been doing matters to anyone, or amounts to anything, you can come home, pick a recipe, add one thing to another, and when you put it on the table, it's delicious, it's warming for the stomach and the soul, and you know that this thing that you've done, matters. You're appreciated, you're successful, and the meal is enjoyed so much more than a bowl of grape-nuts. It's such a comfort."
We women, like Julie during her dreaded, ritual Cobb salad luncheon with her "friends" are surrounded with superficial relationships and a crushing feeling of not being good enough, not glamorous or thin or busy enough. If only we could find something that we truly enjoy doing that we know others appreciated, and more importantly, in doing so, could express our love to those around us. That is what cooking, and being a home-maker (or as I like to call it a "Domestic Dorothy") does for me. I know, you're thinking, "but it's domestic diva, Megan!" Yeah, I know. But I never liked the word diva. Diva's, by definition are all about themselves, like Tinkerbell. I made up the term "Domestic Dorothy" in honor of my grandmother, who, while not the most memorably-good cook, was always warm, loving and would welcome people into her home and make strangers feel like family in no time. That is what I hope to accomplish as a "Domestic Dorothy".
*Favorite quote: "I could write a blog, I have thoughts!"
And so I blog. I love Julie& Julia because it mirror's my life and my doubts and desires. I've been SUPER tempted to make like Julie Powell and cook through Julia Child's Cookbook Mastering the Art of French Cooking. I received a copy for Christmas last year from my mother, after telling her how much I loved the movie and would love a copy of the cookbook. Yes, I would love to learn to cook better, as I trust, spending so much time cooking from French recipes and cooking methods would no doubt teach me. I so want to cook through the book if for no other reason than to have great excuses to have people over, which I love to do. The reason I don't? Unfortunately, Julia's book is laced with recipes calling for Butter and Cream!!! And despite the desire to lose 15lbs by Christmas, I LOVE to eat, so I'd probably GAIN 15 lbs, not lose them. The mixture of cooking and eating butter and cream based meals, as well as the usual holiday food would produce largely negative results, and not assist at all, in what I am trying to accomplish in terms of weight-loss. But that is another topic for another day's blog.
Back to the movie: I watch Julia shopping and walking along the streets of Paris and looking at the beautiful view out her window and it makes my mouth water!! I would love to travel! It's one of the things I regret not being able to do the most. Jason travels so much for work, that when he is finally home, all he wants to do is stay home. And while, for him, his coming home is relaxing and a vacation in itself (from work) is actually MORE work and less-like vacation for me than normal (more cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc.). As a understanding wife, I don't complain. But I don't only envy Julia for her time living in Paris, but also for the closeness in relationship she had with Paul, her husband. They complimented and supported each other. They talked about everything and weren't threatened by each-others hobbies and successes. They weren't afraid to talk to one another and be challenged or encouraged by one another. Paul was concerned with Julia's happiness, and it showed! In kind, Julia learned to love something that could show Paul how much she loved him. I love my husband, but the military lifestyle effectually ROBS us of about half of our life together. It is not an easy sacrifice to make, and it is a difficult life. I don't make comments on Jason and my relationship to say "boo-hoo, poor us" but to communicate the heartsickness I suffer from not knowing my husband as much as I feel I should in five years of marriage.
*Side note: I have actually made chicken with cream, mushrooms and port, and YES, it was pure bliss!!! THAT is the kind of food I love to cook and to eat.
As I watch the movie (again) I keep wanting to interact with it. I find myself agreeing - saying "yes!" to so many things that Julie Powell felt. While cooking, I usually imagine that some culinary giant such as Julia Child or Ina Garten or even Rachel Rae is standing beside me, cooking, chatting, BONDING. I have imaginary friends to cook with and even an imaginary audience that I talk to as if I had my own show. This blog too! I imagine I have 100 readers who NEVER comment, but the truth is, no one knows about me. No one reads. I feel as if I am just sending this off into a giant void. I wish I had real friends that I could share life and hobbies with and show how to cook for REAL instead of imaginary ones.
For the time being, I will have to continue praying that God brings the gift of girlfriends into my life, and continue cooking, lovingly, for my husband. I have been blessed with a husband who is not a culinary snob.In fact, he would probably be happy eating canned soups and mac & cheese all the time if I let him. But I do not feel that serving mediocre food is acceptable. Despite my husbands happy and forgiving pallet, I would rather take the extra time and trouble making something delicious! Secretly, not only do I love to eat, but I desire to make food that is delicious as a demonstration of my love, and not just wanting to be mediocre or do the bare minimum, but to go the extra mile, to make something special because he, my husband is so, so special and precious to me.
Incidentally, the music of the movie is gorgeous and a soulful reflection of the tone of the two leading ladies! For Julia Child there are two versions of "time after time", one instrumental, preformed just for the movie, and a beautiful, sultry love-song version, sung by Margaret Whiting. For Julie Powell, there's a great, unapologetic, raw and honest song called "Stop the Train", sung by Henry Wolfe. I am a HUGE fan of movie soundtracks, and though there aren't many non-musical score songs from this movie, the few used are absolute gems! Lastly, is another personal favorite. "A Bushel and a Peck", sung by Dorris Day. The song, like the scene it plays over is as delicious and irresistible as the chocolate goddess cake that Julie's husband Eric smears all across his face. It is just sooooo goooood!!! Both the song and the scene are my favorites of the movie and make me smile so BIG!
I look up to Julia Child and characters in the movie Mona Lisa Smile, which takes place in the 50's (though ironically not Julia Robert's character) and think "how glamorous". You may think "a housewife? glamorous?" but think it through. Who is more glamorous then the Martha Stuart-type home-maker, those that take delight in making their homes clean and beautiful, who host beautiful parties and serve wonderful food? I think of someone like Julia Child.
I try not to sit around too much, envying fictional people from movies, or real people for that matter. I'd like to think that I try to be content as I am. God has gifted me with the time, desire and talent to cook and be a home-maker right now. So why not aspire to be the best I can be at what God has made me to be? Still, I wish I lived in a time that was more appreciative and less degrading of the stay-at-home mom's. I wish I lived in another time where it was a glamorous thing to stay-at-home, and not something others looked down on, thinking "that's all you do???".
So, that is it. My secret wish is that I wish I had lived in the 1950's, where it was not common for a woman to have a career outside of the home, but where women were expected to be beautiful wives, devoted mothers and warm home-makers. That is my dream. I hate the modern world's expectations that a woman must have a career in order to be respected and admired. My sweet husband would rather I stay at home and do what I do best, feeling fulfilled, rather than work, (making a pittance compared to him) and feeling awful about it. Someday I hope to have children and to be a dedicated and glorious stay-at-home mom. Aside from my grandmother, Dorothy, the other women that I have the most respect for are my Mom, and the Christian stay-at-home wives and mothers who understand the importance of what they do and who dedicate their lives to making their families lives richer and more delicious!
Psalms 31:10-31 paraphrased
The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who works hard, serves and prepares for her family and lives and serves God. Give her dues, shower her life with praises! It is a glorious, and God-honoring thing to be a Domestic Dorothy!!
~ This blog is dedicated to my mom, Yvonne. I hope to be more like you as life goes on: the finest wife and mother that I know.
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