Life Lessons: Stuck in Bed, Sick

I have been sick lately, and while stuck in bed, I've been watching tons of movies. So, I thought today's blog post should be a movie review, since I haven't done one of those in a while.
I chose the romantic comedy classic “While You Were Sleeping”. I hadn't seen this movie in a long time, probably a couple of years, but I had a few epiphanies while watching it. And I want to share them with you. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. Let's start with...

The Plot

The movie begins on the rails of Chicago's iconic L train, and other famous Chicago landmarks, while “This will be (an everlasting love)”, sung by Natalie Cole plays during the opening credits. The kicky song quickly becomes the most annoying three minutes of the movie, and we are happy to turn to an orange colored sky and the voice of Lucy (Sandra Bullock) giving us some back-story. She reminisces on childhood memories of her and her father (her only family, her mother died when she was young) the adventures they shared before he too died, leaving her an orphan.

As an adult, Lucy is a lonely token collector on the L trains in Chicago, who one day forms a secret crush on a dashing commuter named Peter Callahan, who is a complete (but handsome) stranger. On Christmas day, she is guilted into working, since she has no family, and frankly, no life. As fate would have it, she is there just tin time to rescue Peter from an oncoming train after a mugger pushes him onto the tracks. His injuries leave him in a coma, and she takes him to the hospital, where a nurse overhears her musing aloud, "ohhh, I was going to marry him." Misinterpreting her, the nurse tells his family that she is his fiancée. At first Lucy is too caught up in the panic and embarrassment to explain the truth. She winds up keeping the secret for a number of reasons: 1. Peter's grandmother (Elsie) has a heart condition and she fears that telling the family will cause a stroke, and 2. leading such a lonely life, she quickly comes to love being a part of Peter's big and loving family. One night, thinking she is alone while visiting Peter in the hospital, she confesses to him (in a vegetative state) her predicament. Saul (Peter's godfather) overhears the truth and later confronts her, but tells her he will keep her secret, because the accident has brought the family closer.

As a loner, with no family and few friends, Lucy becomes so captivated with the quirky Callaghans and her new place in their family that she cannot bring herself to reveal that Peter does not even know her, because she thinks it might hurt them. She enjoys a belated Christmas with them and then meets Peter's younger brother Jack. He is suspicious of her at first, but he falls in love with her as they spend time together. They develop a close friendship and soon she falls in love with him as well.

New Year's Eve, Peter wakes up from his coma. When his family comes in, including, Lucy, he is confused at her being there as he does not know her, so they assume that he must have amnesia. She and Peter spend time together, but she has already fallen in love with Jack. Saul persuades Peter to propose to her "again", and she agrees despite her feelings for Jack, still not wanting to lose her new family or risk Elsie's health. When Jack visits her the day before the wedding, she gives him a chance to change her mind, asking him if he can give her a reason not to marry Peter. He replies that he can not, leaving her disappointed and thinking she has misunderstood his feelings toward her.

On the day of the wedding, just as the priest begins the ceremony, Lucy finally confesses everything and tells the family she is in love with Jack rather than Peter. Peter's real fiancée (who happens to be married herself), also arrives to stop the wedding. As the family argues, Lucy slips out unnoticed, unsure of what the future holds for her.

SPOILER ALERT!!!

Some time later, as Lucy is back to her mundane life and job collecting tokens from passengers at the train station, Jack surprises her by placing an engagement ring in the token tray of her booth. With the entire Callaghan family watching, he walks into the booth, drops to one knee and proposes. In the last scenes of the film, they kiss, riding their "get away car" of a CTA train for their honeymoon. She narrates that Jack gave her the world by fulfilled her dream of going to Florence, Italy, When Peter asked when she fell in love with Jack, she replied,
"It was while you were sleeping."                                                         Plot source - Wikipedia

Sigh, I love this movie!!

Why Do We Love It?
 

Well, we like this movie because we like Lucy, and we identify with her. She is like us; human, average. Her life is boring, she makes mistakes but she's kind, and she wants things that we want: love, recognition of her value, acceptance, and to be a part of a loving family. She's the underdog. We want her to be happy, because we want to be happy. We've all felt alone. We've all been fixated on someone. We've all fantasized about a mister perfect and wanted a family. We want the dream.

Also, we've all been in Lucy’s shoes. We feel like our life isn't going anywhere, that all the guys that we want are too good for us or wouldn't give us a second glance. And then the guys that want us, are not exactly prince charming. And we do want the fantasy, we want prince charming, we want to live happily every after.

Like Lucy. She is so alone that she falls “in love” with someone she'd never even talked to. But then there's a twist. Though a series of mix-ups, his family is led to believe that she is his fiancée'. They quickly accept her and she falls in love with being part of a family. And whether or not we have a loving family, we all want to belong. 

But then, there's the ruggedly handsome younger brother, and unlike her fictitious fiancée, she has a real relationship with him. At first he's suspicious, and there are numerous misunderstandings. They fight, they make up, they spend time together, they get to know one another, and then, they fall in love.

But Lucy is stuck, she doesn't know how to tell the truth, without losing both the man and the family that she's always wanted. We understand why she does what she does because, in the same situation, we'd probably do the same thing.

So in the end, when she finally tells the truth, she gets the guy (and a pretty sweet proposal) and they all live happily ever after, you've gotta love that. THAT is why we think we love this movie!!

We Learn About Ourselves from Watching Movies

When I was single, I thought I would never be complete or worth anything unless I had a man; as if that made me valuable. I might even say that I was in love with love, much like Lucy at the beginning of this movie. But unlike Lucy, I at least had (and still have) a loving family who made me feel valuable, by showing me unconditional love. But both of us learned the same lesson. Lucy and I learned that meeting Mr. perfect isn't as important as finding a good man of character who loves you for exactly who you are.

Epiphany #1: You need to know and accept who you are....

Well, who was I? I had plenty of crushes, and they were all based on things like his looks, if he was smart or a talented musician, or if he was funny, or popular; all without getting to know the guy and who he really was. And usually, I'd fall for the guy and fall hard. My life's pursuit and self-worth was tied to what that guy thought me, and if he liked me. Mostly the guys didn't like me as much as I liked them. Or if I dated someone, it wouldn't be for long, and then he'd quickly move on to someone else and I'd think I wasn't as good as whoever he left me for. I'd think I wasn't enough. I was so much like Lucy, thinking that the earth revolved around the guy I had a crush on, and several times, on guys that didn't know I was alive, and my self-esteem took several good hits as a result.

When it comes to guys, they fall into two categories; the Peters and the Jacks. Guys who have different priorities, like the two brothers in this movie. When you break it down, you'll see what she's really getting.

Peter is mister "Prince Charming", mister "Do the Right Thing" who looks perfect from the outside, but that's all he cares about. Appearances; being successful at work, driving a fancy car, having an apartment in Paris, having a pretty girlfriend with nice boobs and a nice nose, but doesn't care if she's a nice person, or that she's already married. We also find out that when he was young, he got an awarded and praised for saving some squirrels. But that's not the whole story. He only saved them once he had put them in a position to be saved, and he didn't do the right thing by telling the truth. Plus, he doesn't have any kind of relationship with his family, he doesn't care; so much so that his secretary buys and sends their Christmas presents. Peter wants to look like the guy who does the right thing, but doesn't actually do it. He has professional prowess, but no realization of what he misses out on by caring about the people in his life that really matter. He probably has no idea how to have a real relationship. 

Jack, on the other hand, cares deeply about his family. In fact, he cares more about his relationship with his dad, than pursuing his own successful business, in order to keep the peace and to be near his family. He cares about his brother too. He admires him, and yet isn't jealous of his success. He's ok with who he is. And he cares deeply about Lucy, and spends time getting to know her. Jack knows how important it is to have real relationships with the people in his life. He sees value in it, and in them.

Peter's god-father Saul, could see Lucy's worth as a person. He called Jack "a putz" for not realizing what an amazing woman that Lucy was. He told him that if he couldn't see that, and didn't fall in love with her within two minutes of being with her, then go ahead break it off with her, just realize that you're a putz. In essence, Peter wouldn't have ever gone for Lucy on his own. He had already been mugged and fell off a train platform, he had a head injury that sent him into a coma, and then came back out of it, and still he didn't see it. It was only after his godfather called him "a putz" that he even realized how close he had come to death, and how valuable Lucy was to have around. And then when he proposes, you sense that he does so out of disingenuous obligation, the hazy romanticism of the moment, and the fear of seeming like a “putz” to his godfather being of greater concern, rather than being motivated by genuine love, because he isn't. He doesn't even talk to her about herself, he doesn't even spend time getting to know her. She only says yes because she doesn't want to turn down a perfectly good marriage proposal from a rich and handsome man, and deep down she doesn't want to spend the rest of her life alone. You can really see Peter's priorities when Lucy tells him that she is in love with Jack and calls off the wedding, when he is more worried about his carpet then the relationship ending... or her feelings. She is worth so much more than that!


Some guys need someone to smack them in the head and hold up a sign. They aren't interested until the girl is interested in them first. They don't have guts or eyes to see the gem that is in front of them, and these guys are not worth your time!!!

Epiphany #2 You are a valuable person. You are a gem.

Lucy's relationship with Jack on the other hand isn't perfect by any means, but they do things together, they get to know one another, and develop a close friendship. Jack realizes on his own that she is someone that he wants. HE falls for her. And while his communication skills aren't always the best, he's genuine. Through an honest, yet imperfect relationship, they get to know one another and they fall in love.

So, she has a choice, just like we all do, if we recognize what it really is. It may seem she has to chose between the dream and reality; between someone who seems perfect and promises her everything she's ever wanted, but can't deliver - and holding out for what she really wants, but it's not only that. What she really needs to do is chose between settling or holding out for what she's worth. For someone that is worthy of her.

Epiphany #3 You are worthy of holding our for someone that is WORTHY of you.

The lesson is that it is important to spend time getting to know the true character of a person before forming an attachment. It is important to let the guy fall for you, to see you as someone that they want, and then let them chase you. And maybe more importantly, it's important to know yourself, to be happy with yourself, and to find someone who cares about the same things you do. You want someone who knows you, flaws and all, and still wants you for who you are. Character counts. Knowing a person (and not just thinking you know them, based on a few chance encounters or perfect-seeming dates) is critical to a lasting relationship.

When I was single, I thought I would never be complete or worth anything unless I had a man who told me I was valuable. But what I didn't know was that I am valuable already. And it's so much more important to find someone who has character and value, and recognizes and loves your for your s, rather than someone who seems perfect. Yes, both Lucy and I learned the same lesson; that meeting Mr. perfect isn't as important as finding a good man of character who loves you for exactly who you are.

That's really the lesson of this movie. That's why I think we (at least we ladies) love it!

So when Jack finally steps up, comes to get her and pops the question, it is the most triumphant of moments. She finds someone that she can laugh with and grow old with. And that is the best ending of all!