So, some serious food for thought:
What has happened to society? To courtesy? To commitment?
As much as an R.S.V.P. request may seem up-tight and old-fashioned, it's practical, it's for a very important reason. It lets the hostess or party planner know how many people to expect at her party. If this is to be a catered party, or at a restaurant she will certainly need to give the caterer or locale a head count by a certain date, and that count will need to be accurate because she is obligated to pay for or plan for the given number of guests.
Even if the hostess isn't using a caterer, she needs to plan ahead. She will need to know how much food to buy and how many places to set at the table, and other important details are dependent on your RSVP.
To help you better understand, imagine YOU are planning a simple party. You want to serve cake and ice cream. In order to assure that everyone gets a piece if cake and some ice cream, you need to know how many people will be there. Imagine you have 10 people RSVP. You buy enough cake and ice cream for 10. Then, come party time, you have 17 people come. That means that 7 people won't get any cake, you'll either have to scramble at the last minute or have a stinker party and people will be disappointed and not have a good time. Some may even have their feelings hurt, be mad at you or not want to come to another party that you throw. You think "is that fair? How was I supposed to know that extra 7 people would come? I invited them, yes, but they didn't tell me they were coming!" And that is the point exactly. THEY didn't tell you. They didn't do their part.
This happens all the time. I am a youth group leader at my church and I can't tell you how many times this happens. I'm in just such a pickle right now actually. You announce the event months in advance. Say RSVP (or "tell me if you are coming") no later than 10 days prior, or we'll assume you're not coming and only plan for the ones that have said they are. A day or two before the event and your number doubles because kids forget, and then others talk about it last minute and then bam! You've got double trouble.
But most people would say "hey, they're kids, it happens" -I say; teach people to commit.
To say "yes I'm going" or "no I'm not" and then should the situation change, say, "sorry, too bad you didn't RSVP, I didn't know you we're coming, but that's your responsibility for not responding, not mine. I had ten pieces of cake for the ten people who said they were coming".
Maybe I sound like an old stick in the mud, but it seems like in society these days we don't have consequences for people who don't take responsibly. We put the blame on the ones that won't accommodate, who won't make the necessary materials pop out if thin air to meet our needs despite their having every opportunity to communicate the future preparations needed in advance. We make the responsible ones the bad guy.
I ask you "HOW IS THAT FAIR? How is that right?"
How is it any different from concert tickets? You want to go to a concert. You buy a ticket, you will get to go in and see the concert. The ticket taker gladly opens the door and shows you to your seat. You don't buy tickets, you won't get in! The bouncer at the door will be glad to see to that.
I'm not just talking about parties or concerts, but life. Consequences are important to remind or teach people that they are responsible for their own actions. And taking away consequences from the guilty party and putting them one the innocent is wrong, and it breeds entitlement, irresponsibility and disaster!
The bottom line is:
Take responsibility for your part in your own life. If you don't you'll only have yourself to blame.
Maybe too serious a topic? But a very important one. Anyway, food for thought!
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